my to-do list

23 01 2008

Rest.  A simple word, yet I feel that I do not understand it.  I am a list-maker.  I like to check the box, cross off the next line, or erase another task.  This may make my chore time effective, but I feel that it detracts from my time with God. 

Lately I have had a strong desire to rest in his arms.  I am reminded that I need to walk in his strength, not mine.  The problem is, I have found that I do not know how to do this foreign act of resting.  I cannot stop this feeling that I need to be productive, doing, going, working – as if my to-do list is always present.  I find myself justifying or explaining myself every time I sit to read, pray, soak in his love… as if I am being lazy and need an excuse.

I have read a wonderful book in my Pastors’ Wives group called Nice Girls Don’t Change the World by Lynne Hybels.  It tells of a period of time in Lynne’s life when she was drained of life and energy.  She sat in a comfy chair by the window watching seasons change, birds chirp, and flowers grow.  Lynne perfected the art of resting – not because she was seeking God’s rest, but because she was too tired to do anything else.

I pray that God will help me to rest in Him.  I want to run in his power, live in his strength, and serve with his hands.  I do not want to be bound by a to-do list until I am drained of life.  I want to be filled with God’s amazing life that needs no boxes checked nor another task erased.

Abba-Daddy, help me to rest in you.  Give me the grace to lay aside my business and to seek your face.  Help me to connect with your heart, that I may live out of your strength and power.  I love you.  Thank you for loving me.

Much love to all,  Court


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